We're a bit late with this one, but that's because we don't read tabloids or watch gossip shows. Apparently, Lidsey Lohan is now a lesbian. Apparently, she now wants to become a Jew.

Oy vey.

No, that's not us talking, that's Lindsay herself, responding to the rumors of her break-up(?) from her Jewish girlfriend(?) Samantha Ronson.

Oy vey.

This time it was us.

Seriously, Lindsay. You tried Kabbalah. You tried Scientology. You tried Alcoholics Anonymous. Do you really have to try Judaism?

Oy, those meshuggenah shiksas!