"Mean Girls" was on cable the other night, we glimpsed for a few minutes, started thinking how cute Lindsay Lohan used to be, quickly stopped when the wife looked at us quizzically, and then started pondering the career paths of the three titular girls and two others. There is a clear hierarchy here, and we're not talking about high school.

Rachel McAdams, the meanest mean girl, Regina, is on top. She's done Wedding Crashers, Sherlock Holmes, Mignight in Paris, and some Nicholas Sparks crap.

Amanda Seyfried, the dumbest mean girl, Karen, follows. Big Love, Mamma Mia, Red Riding Hood, and some Nicholas Sparks crap.

Then we have Lizzy Caplan, not a mean girl, but the tortured Janis. She did some stuff on TV, was in Cloverfield... Nothing too exciting, but she's Jewish, so we'll cut her some slack. For the drop below is steep.

Lacey Chabert, the Jewish mean girl, Gretchen... Not exactly a success here. We're looking through her IMDB page and nothing pops out. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past? Let's just move on.

To poor Lohan, as Cady. We don't have to recount her fall from grace here, but it has been terribly spectacular. She's been in the Betty Ford Center, and... she's playing Liz Taylor in a TV movie?

That sounds about right.