We hate American Idol.

No, really. We'd rather bang our head against the wall than talk about American Idol. Click on the Paula Abdul link below if our abhorrence is not clear. Then use the back button on your browser. We'll be here.

But these are extraordinary circumstances. So yes, here we are, doing something we thought we would never do again. Discussing Idol. Ugh.

Specifically, discussing Adam Lambert, who later this week faces off against some other guy for a chance to become the next Idol. We can hardly wait.

Adam Lambert. Voice of an angel, we're told. Definitely gay, we're told. Jewish, we're told.

A gay Jewish American Idol? Really? We... applaud you, America, for your openness?

Well, from the research we did (and yes, we did a lot of research on this important topic), it looks like Lambert is half Jewish by birth, does not practice Judaism (he is agnostic), but does consider himself Jewish.

Considers himself Jewish? Who are we to argue? So let's just wrap this profile up, and call it a day.

Oh, if it was only that easy... For it has been reported that Adam's Jewishiness (or, to be more specific, his lack of open Christianity that was exhibited by the majority of Idol winners) might cost him the final vote.

We're gonna have none of that. Mobilize, Jews of America. Make your voice heard. Vote Adam Lambert for American Idol!

Now excuse us as we bang our head against the wall.