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    Norman Jewison

    Jew Score:



    July 21, 1926 – January 20, 2024

    Imagine going through life with a really Jewish last name.

    We're not talking about names like Goldberg or Levine or Cohen. Good Jewish names, yes, but still common enough to allow them to assimilate somewhat.

    No, we mean really Jewish. Painfully Jewish. Like if your last name was Torah or Oldtestament or something ridiculous like that. We're talking about a last name so Jewish even Jews think it's too Jewish.

    Imagine that. Your whole life, everyone who meets you immediately knows you are a Jew. Religion and culture are supposed to be private things. But some cruel twist of fate has made you a living billboard for your people.

    You can't go to a temple or a lawyer or a dentist without getting some kind of comment. You get dirty looks every time you order a BLT. On the plus side, you get discounts at every Judaica store in the country, but how often is that really useful?

    We can only empathize. Having such a Jew-tastic last name must be quite a burden for those poor souls, forever marked by their rabbinically-approved appellations.

    So can you imagine how hard it must be to have one if you're not even Jewish?

    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    June 3, 2009

    See Also

    Sholom Aleichem

    Torah Bright

    Shalom Harlow

    Ed Jew

    Zero Mostel
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