We have a gripe with Subway.

Not for being the usual terrible fast food joint, that's expected. But in the NYC area they have the nerve to offer a pastrami sub and — as experts in all things salted and cured — we have to tell you: it's terrible. The meat is terrible. The mustard is terrible. The whole thing is just one big sloppy disaster covered in Swiss cheese. No thank you.

Seriously Subway, if you can't do the sandwich decent why even bother? It's not like you make a crappy cheesesteak in Philly. (Actually, strike that, you do. Never mind.)

All of which leads us to Jared Fogle, the famous fellow who lost weight eating Subway sandwiches (and exercising. Seriously, America, it literally wouldn't kill you to take a g-ddammed walk once in a while). Wouldn't a nice Jewish boy like Jared want to promote a place that serves nice Jewish foods instead of this crap?

On the other hand, we can only imagine how heavy Jared would be if he had been eating delicious pastrami sandwiches instead of turkey all these years. Frankly, it has probably kept him alive.

So maybe it all works out for the best.

(Editor's update, August 18, 2015: Child pornography? No, it didn't work out for the best.)