We feel betrayed.

And by who? By a Jew. Wendy Kaufman, the Snapple Lady, the zaftig spokeswoman for the popular beverage in the 1990s.

Here she was, sitting behind her desk, answering letters, telling us to drink Snapple, "made from the best stuff on Earth".

And drink Snapple we did. Oh, the delicious flavors! Out-Red-Geous Orange, Mango Madness, What-A-Melon!

Oh, Wendy, why did you lie to us?

"Best stuff on earth"? If so, why did the most recent Snapple campaign claim that "the best stuff on Earth just got better"? Well, because for all these years, Snapple was made with high-fructose corn syrup. Now it is made with sugar instead.

Damn you, Wendy Kaufman! Damn you and your perky smile! Damn you and your web of lies!

Sigh. Talk about false advertising. We should have stuck with Coca-Cola.