We picture you, faithful reader:

There you are, early in the morning, opening your internet browser, which loads up your home page, this very website (we wouldn't expect anything else). "I wonder who today's profile is," you think. "Perhaps they'll finally follow up on my suggestion to profile Bette Midler? I only sent it in five times."

But no, today's profile is Philip Markoff. "Who is that?", you think. "Markoff, Markoff... I know Madoff, but that's not it..."

So you keep reading and find out that Markoff is the Craigslist Killer: the medical student who picked up prostitutes on Craigslist and then killed one of them. "Oh no!", you say to yourself. "Could he be Jewish?"

Afraid, you skim to the end of the profile, see the verdict, "Barely a Jew", and breath a sign of relief. Sure, you would have wanted "Not a Jew", but this will have to do. So you go back up and find out that Markoff is not Jewish — religiously. He is half Jewish — ethnically, through his father. However, neither his mother nor his stepfather is Jewish, and Philip was brought up Catholic.

"Oh well," you think. "Another one for the Sociopaths category. Hmmm. Maybe I should send in that Bette Midler suggestion again."