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    Meatwad

    Jew Score:
    9

    I2

    O4

    K3

    There is a big debate going on right now among the intelligentsia of the Jewish community. They've done a good job of keeping it quiet, but the truth is, this is something that could blow the proverbial yarmulke right off our sacred religion.

    For you see, Meatwad is Jewish.

    Yes, Meatwad, the ummmmm wad of meat who fights crime, solves mysteries, and swirls the waters in his neighbor's above-ground pool in Southern Jersey along with the rest of his Aqua Teen Hunger Force (#1 in the hood G, per several respected scientific journals).

    Now, to be fair, Meatwad is Jewish because he declared himself so in an episode a few years ago. This usually isn't nearly enough for a full conversion, but apparently you can get away with all kinds of half-assed BS in Reform Judaism these days. So he's in.

    And this has left our fine Rabbinical Illuminati in a bit of snit. Question the first: is he circumcised? And if he's not, well, how would one go about making that happen to a ball of ground chuck? And further, do his actions — his willingness to kill someone in front of their own mother for a bicycle, for example — really make him someone we can accept as a member of our community?

    But most importantly, he is a piece of hamburger meat. Which means Meatwad is kosher. Which means it's perfectly acceptable under Jewish law for Meatwad to eat himself.

    And that's just ridiculous.

    Verdict: Jew.

    October 26, 2010

    See Also

    Flying Spaghetti Monster

    Seth Green

    Mr. Poopybutthole

    Rick and Morty

    Ziggy
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