US Attorney General William Barr — somehow, Jewish on his father's side, although raised Catholic — clearly has trouble with reading comprehension. Since trying to understand the Special Counsel's reports is clearly too complex, we've asked Mr. Barr to interpret... nursery rhymes.
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow;
Everywhere the child went,
The little lamb was sure to go.
"The investigation did not establish that Mary owned a sheep or coordinated her activities with it."
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb and pulled out a plum,
And said, "What a good boy am I!"
"No conclusion was drawn — one way or the other — as to whether Mr. Horner found fruit inside a pastry."
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
"There was no evidence of Jack or Jill falling. There was, in fact, no tumbling."
Clearly, that didn't help...
