Dear goyishe readers (we know you are out there) —

Please help us out. The very important verdict of this profile rests on a very simple question:

Would you ever wear a Chanukah sweater to a Christmas party?

Now, if the situation was reversed, and the question was, would a Jew ever wear a Christmas sweater to a Chanukah party, the answer would be a resounding "Are you crazy?!" No Jew in their right mind would ever do that. But you, goyim, are a different story. Who knows what goes on in your Christian brains?

Perhaps you'd wear one because you like the color blue. Perhaps you want to stand out from the crowd. Perhaps you were told a cute boy or girl will be at the party, and they are Jewish, so — an in! Perhaps (and this is the most likely scenario) you would wear one ironically. We never understood your sardonic love for ugly Christmas sweaters, but that's us Jews.

Until we hear from you, goyishe readers, we'll have to lean to the Jew side of this verdict. Launchpad McQuack doesn't seem like someone who do anything ironically, does he?