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    Simeon Stylites

    Jew Score:
    2

    I0

    O0

    K2
    390(?) – September 2, 459

    5th century Syria, at the bottom of a pillar...

    Hey there, Phil!

    Oh, hey there! You must be the new guy! Marvin, is it?

    Yep, I'm Marvin! So... how does this work?

    It's an easy job, really. Did you bring a newspaper? You're gonna need a newspaper.

    What will I need a newspaper for?

    To read, dummy! It gets pretty boring here waiting for the bell to ring.

    This bell?

    Do you see any other? When the bell rings, it means he wants something.

    What does he want?

    What does a man like that want? Food, mostly. Can't survive on top of a pillar without food.

    And how do you get him the food?

    You see this bucket? We put the food in the bucket, pull the pulley, and the bucket goes up.

    And who makes the food?

    The townspeople bring it!

    Oh, right, mother used to make lamb chops for him... He supposedly likes lamb chops...

    Does he ever! So your mom or whoever brings food, we put in in the bucket, and he eats it.

    What if no one brings food this day?

    He can go hungry for a day or two, but then he gets pretty irritated. Starts cursing a lot.

    A saintly man like that, cursing?

    Oh, and sometimes he makes requests.

    Requests?

    Last week, he had a craving for creme brule.

    Creme... what?

    Yeah, I didn't know either. But I had to run into town and find somemone who can make this brule. Smelled delicious, honestly.

    So that's it? We just sit here all day, and pull up food in a bucket?

    Pretty much. Well, one more thing.

    What's that?

    We have to empty the bucket when he sends it down...

    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    September 6, 2021

    See Also

    Saint George

    Saint Matthias

    Socrates

    Leo Tolstoy

    L. L. Zamenhof
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