Are you there, Jesus? It's us, Jew or Not Jew.

Not talking to us again? Figures. After all, you've been dead for two thousand years. We kid, we kid. We kid because we love. (We don't. Oh, we really, really don't.)

Hey, Jesus, while we got you, you ever heard of this Riff Raff guy? That's his name, Riff Raff. Well, not his real name. He is a rapper from Texas. You know, Texas! We bet you talk to a lot of people from Texas! You don't? Well, they try to talk to you... We get it, no one wants to talk to anyone from Texas. Anyhoo...

So this Riff Raff character really wants to be pals with you, Jesus! He's even got a tattoo which says "Dear Jesus, please let me in. Your child, Horst Simco." That's his real name, Horst Simco. Horst CHRISTIAN Simco! So what do you say, Jesus, take him?

Sure, he's technically Jewish and all, with that Hebrew mother of his... But we really don't want this riffraff!